I haven’t felt my best recently, mentally and physically. It’s a catch 22 because when I struggle with stress, anxiety or depressive times I use exercise as one of my tools to clear and cleanse. The problem is when you are physically unwell (which I have also been recently) running isn’t it an option. This is where I have been for the past week or so. Today though I felt okay enough to run again, and boy did it feel good. It felt even better because I didn’t use the torrential rain as an excuse to tell myself to go tomorrow! I went today, I got soaked and it has made me feel happy, alert, proud, strong, calm, tired (this is good as it will mean I sleep well)… I felt the cold rain soaking my clothes and trainers making my legs heavy, but I carried on. I was bloody freezing though and my nose has been dripping ever since

I used to make excuse after excuse after excuse, whether it was exercise, whether it was eating good food, whether I should go out with friends, whether I should call that person etc etc… I am not saying I don’t sometimes do this but it’s rare and by overcoming the want to make an excuse makes me give myself a small silent pat on the back. Just because other people find things easy and natural to do doesn’t mean you do. I used to struggle to look after myself and respect my body… now I eat well, I exercise and I am slowly getting there. I still have social anxieties but again I am pushing myself! I even made the suggestion of a mums night out today with my new class mums (that’s a big step for me!). The third thing I did today is go for my smear… now we all want to make excuses not to have one of them but we all now they are so incredibly important!!

So my thinking today is that if by getting out in the rain and running has made me feel pleased with myself. By organising a night out I feel proud about. Then I need to stop making excuses and do these small things and then be appreciative of my own efforts!! We should all do this! We are all different and all bloody wicked but we all have our own issues to overcome. Let’s do this! Or at least try xxx

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